Bookmarked by Steph: Originals- The Safest Way to Take a Risk (When You’re the Responsible One)

If you’re the reliable one, you know the particular loneliness of wanting something more.

You’re the person who follows through.

You’re the one who keeps things running.

You don’t “blow up your life” on a whim.

And yet, there’s often a quiet, persistent nudge:

• Speak up.
• Create the thing.
• Apply for the role.
• Name what you want.
• Do it differently.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot since revisiting Adam Grant’s book Originals, and one idea in particular felt like it was written for the high-functioning woman who’s brave, but cautious.

Not because she lacks courage.

Because she carries real responsibility.

The myth: brave people take big risks everywhere

When people talk about being bold, it often comes wrapped in chaos-core advice:

• Quit your job.
• Burn the bridge.
• Leap without a net.

But that’s not how most of us are wired.

And honestly, it’s not how most sustainable change happens.

Grant points out something that immediately softened my all-or-nothing instinct:

“Having a sense of security in one realm gives us freedom to be original in another.”

In other words, the goal isn’t to become reckless.

The goal is to stop requiring a 100% guarantee before you move.

The concept that changed everything for me: a “risk portfolio”

The phrase that stuck with me is this:

“Managing a balanced risk portfolio doesn’t mean constantly hovering in the middle of the spectrum by taking moderate risk.”

Read that again, because it’s such a relief.

Balanced doesn’t mean “small, cautious steps in every area of life.”

Balanced can mean:

“Instead, successful originals take extreme risk in one arena and offset them with extreme caution in another.”

This is the part that high-functioning women tend to miss.

Because when you’ve got a strong work ethic and a sensitive nervous system, you often try to “earn” safety by over-controlling every category at once:

• You want the new idea and a perfect plan.
• You want visibility and zero vulnerability.
• You want change and no consequences.

A risk portfolio gives you a different question to ask:

“Where can I take risks? Where can I find security?”

That isn’t impulsive.

That’s strategic.

Why you feel stuck: insight isn’t the same as action

If you’re self-aware, reflective, well-read, and emotionally intelligent, you can accidentally turn insight into a hiding place.

You can understand yourself beautifully… and still feel oddly frozen.

Grant names the real dividing line:

“Closing the gap between insight and action.”

That line hits because so many women I work with don’t need another epiphany.

They need help translating clarity into movement, without flooding their system.

The “original idea” problem: you under-communicate because it’s obvious to you

Another moment in Originals that felt painfully accurate:

“They’re already so familiar to us that we underestimate how much exposure an audience needs to comprehend and buy into them.”

If you’ve been carrying an idea for months, it’s loud in your brain.

It feels self-evident.

It feels “not that deep.”

But to the people you want to reach, it’s brand new.

And when you’re not used to taking up space, you can unintentionally sabotage your own message by saying it once, softly, and then assuming it didn’t land.

Grant’s language is so vivid here: “When you present a new suggestion, you’re not only hearing the tune in your head you wrote the song.”

So if you’ve been thinking, “Why is nobody getting it?”

It might not be that the idea is wrong.

It might be that you’re skipping the repetition and clarity that helps people catch up.

A grounded way to move forward this week (without going full chaos)

If you want a practical next step, try building your own two-column risk portfolio. Use Grant’s questions verbatim:

Column A: Where can I take risks?

Pick one arena where you’re willing to be brave on purpose. Examples:

• Share the post you’ve been editing for three weeks.
• Ask for the rate you actually want.
• Start the project messy.
• Tell the truth in the relationship conversation.

Column B: Where can I find security?

Pick one arena where you’ll be extra steady, so your body can tolerate the risk. Examples:

• Keep your current schedule while you test the idea.
• Automate meals for the week.
• Protect sleep like it’s a non-negotiable.
• Tell one safe person what you’re doing so you’re not alone in it.

This is how you become original without self-abandoning.

The point isn’t to become fearless. It’s to become honest.

Fear isn’t a character flaw.

It’s often a nervous system signal that something matters.

And if you’re the kind of woman who’s done everything “right,” originality won’t always look like a big dramatic leap.

Sometimes it looks like:

• saying the thing out loud,
• taking one brave step,
• and letting steadiness support you while you do it.

Because as Grant puts it: “Becoming original is not the easiest path in the pursuit of happiness, but it leaves us perfectly poised for the happiness of pursuit.”

If your inner critic is loudest right before you do something brave, that’s not a coincidence.
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