Distorted Discipline is Damaging

Discipline is all too often (in my opinion) considered the most important and elusive cornerstone of success. I am not anti- discipline… it brings order to a lot of the chaoses of my life.
AND I’ve been noticing a trend in my conversations regarding how we approach discipline- the nuances between making progress and becoming stunted by frustration.

Here’s my take: When discipline becomes distorted—when it is enforced in a rigid, “white knuckle” manner without reflection or learning—it can be more damaging than beneficial. To truly benefit from discipline we need to appreciate its roots…

The word “discipline” originates from the Latin word “discipulus,” which means student or learner. This connection to being a disciple, a follower, or a student highlights that discipline is inherently about learning and growth. It’s not just about adhering to a strict set of rules or forcing ourselves into compliance. What if instead we approached discipline with curiosity and a goal of learning from our experiences?

Never have I thought- ‘man I need more stress in my life… I should be more disciplined.‘
I turn to discipline when I need routine and simplicity…
AND- I don’t always get the routine right the first time.

It takes coming back to the proverbial drawing board at regular intervals to see if the plan is working.

Think about implementing a new exercise routine.
If I approach it with an all or nothing mentality,
pushing myself to a strict schedule
not paying attention to how my body feels
not considering if it’s enjoyable or sustainable
all in the name of discipline?
That is a quick one way ticket to burnout and a negative association with exercise, making it harder to maintain the habit in the long run.

Whats the alternative?
Approaching exercise with curiosity…
What do I enjoy?
What pushes me?
What is working for my body?
What time of day do I feel energized?
How do I make this work for my schedule?
This reflective approach allows us to adapt and adjust our routines, making it more likely that we will stick with them over time.

Discipline should be about more than just adherence. This principle applies not only to exercise but to many areas of our lives that require discipline, such as:

1. Healthy Eating: Instead of rigidly sticking to a diet plan, approach healthy eating with curiosity. Experiment with different foods, pay attention to how they make you feel… learn what works best for your body and lifestyle. Work with a dietitian to develop a sustainable and enjoyable way of eating that supports your health ( I know a great one if you need a recommendation!)
2. Money Management: Finances requires discipline, AND if you want to guarantee shameful overspending… make it restrictive. If not- take the time to learn about different budgeting methods, track your spending habits, and identify areas where you can make adjustments. Stay curious and informed… and create a financial plan that aligns with your goals and values.
3. Personal Development: Whether it’s learning a new skill, pursuing a hobby, or working on personal growth stay flexible and open to new experiences. Reflect on what you enjoy, what challenges you, and how you can continue to grow. This mindset makes personal development an ongoing journey rather than a checklist.

Become a student of your own life and continually learn from your experiences.

If you have questions about how to implement discipline in your life in a way that feels delightful and sustainable reach out! I would love to work with you to adapt your approaches to achieving goals.